I don't know if it's been three months since I've cooked anything worth posting, or if it's because my head has been so darned bad that for three months I don't feel like typing. Either way, I am still tasting the best cornbread stuffing in my mouth, so although my head is in a world of hurt I need to get down the recipe before I forget it...and it's Thanksgiving. I woke crying. For pain, for sadness, for Pop. I miss my Dad every day. But of course a holiday that we always spent together is just so hard. I see him so clearly, kissing him hello. He was ALWAYS happy to see me. My whole life, I barely remember him ever being mad at me. EVER. Maybe once or twice when I really deserved it (wild teenager in the seventies that I was! dirty stayout, pot smoking, tequila drinking, lying brat of a kid!) He always made me feel like the a movie star in training. Like the best mom, and the best daughter -- when really I was none of those. But he saw in me something that gave me hope, that made me feel as if I was worthy. For that I am thankful. And those last weeks of his life were my way of giving back to him all he gave to me, and it was grand in the hardest of moments. I was able to mother him. The one and only thing I really know how to do. My sweet Dad. Anyway, this has absolutley nothing to do with cornbread stuffing. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure if my Dad would've even touched it. He was strict in the food he ate -- meaning close minded, pretty much only eating what he knew. And only what my mother made. He loved her cooking. He might've tasted something I made. But. Liked it? not sure. He might've made fun of it. Or pissed me off about it. I miss that about him. He was fresh in his funny. I can see him slapping his knee and laughing after making me mad. God, I miss him. (The picture in this post is a photo of the items left in the sunparlor of my mom's house that were his. His Giants tie and hats, his CD's: Pavarotti, the irish tenors, Clay Aiken - gay or not gay, the constant discussion; his glasses.)

Anyway, I am Thankful that I have food to bring to the table, and money to make a nice dinner for my family; for a job. I am Thankful for the shelter I am lucky enough to afford. And for my beautiful family, children, mother, sisters brother. For my pets. For my good friends. Especially you. For not walking this path alone; for the tears I cry every day. Without them I would be cold inside. Hardened, perhaps. I am especially grateful that on this juncture, on the Thanksgiving I am turning 50, that I am alive to tell the tale. The long and the short of it.

OK, Here's the best stuffing I ever made. It looks beautiful, like it should be in a magazine, but the taste is absolutley divine. Subtle, yet savory. And I believe it's actually "Dressing", not "Stuffing." as it's cooked outside of the bird.


Enjoy! As for me, off to the 15lbs of potatoes I have to peel.....

Yum.



Lisa's Cornbread Stuffing

12 cups cubed cornbread -- dry. I made mine myself, but you can buy it anywhere already made. Next year I will cube it and dry it for a day, so it's a bit stale. although it ended up being perfect.

1/2 Tablespoon butter
1 c. heavy cream
2 large eggs
4 C.chicken stock
1 tablespoon Emeril Lagasse's Original Essence
1&1/2 cups mushrooms, cut in quarters, not slices
1 cup pecans, chopped
1 cup cranberries, whole
3 tablespoons olive oil
3 C chopped fine, yellow onions
2 C chopped celery
1 tsp. salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 tbls. cayenne pepper
3 tbls. minced garlic (around 3 cloves)
2 tspoons thyme

Preheat oven to 375. Grease a 10x15 baking dish or 2 9inch square pans

Combine chicken stock, cream, milk, eggs, and Essence in large bowl and whisk to blend. Add the dried cornbread (carefully) with a wooden spoon, and cranberries; and stir to mix. You want a combo of large peices and small -- I poured the bread into the bowl with the wet ingredients, then put it all back into a pot and poured the remaining liquid on top.
Put it into the fridge to sit for an hour, or until you cook up the rest of the ingredients.

Then, heat a large skillet over high heat. Add the pecans to toast, stirring up until crisp. about 10 minutes. Pour them into a bowl, add 1/2 teaspoon butter & 1/2 of the oil into same skillet, and when butter bubbles, add garlic first, browing a bit, then mushrooms, sprinkling with salt and pepper as they cook. Sautee until mushrooms are golden and they release some of their liquids - but don't overcook, as they are going to cook some more in the oven later. Transfer to another bowl or dish. add rest of butter and oil, when it's really hot, add onions and celery and sautee until they are soft and translucent. Add salt, pepper, and thyme and cayenne. Remove from heat and add mushroom/garlic concoction to cornbread, stirring thoroughly. But carefully. Pour into baking dish, holding back some of the larger cubes. Place larger cubes on top, hopefully covering the top, as a top layer. Bake until golden and firm, about 35 to 45 minutes.

It is really a beautiful dish, if I must say so myself. Looks like it should be in a magazine, and tastes that way too. Next year I will make a little dish on the side, to eat right away. My mom and I dug into it, now we need to cover up that bit with parcely!.